“I’ve been afraid every single day of my life, but I’ve gone ahead and done it anyway.” -Georgia O’Keeffe
Right now, I am embracing fear through learning to surf. As a completely novice surfer with everything to learn, I love getting knocked around the waves and trying to catch one. One week into this new venture, I’m mostly practicing my pop-ups on whitewater. Still, the sun in my eyes and leaving salty and exhausted keep me coming back for more. It’s humbling, difficult, and even scary sometimes. That’s why I am doing it as much as possible while staying near the beach.
This morning, I went out at sunrise to surf. I carried my board the half-mile to the beach in a state of bliss. After meditation and tea, the morning light and growing sound of ocean waves were enchanting. The world was full of beauty and promise. My sleepy dreams faded away as the sunlight hit my eyes. I carried the board above my head and felt the weariness in my arms and shoulders leftover from a glorious weekend. I relished the youthful soreness that comes when your body is getting stronger and can still take more.
The waves were small, too small to catch. As I approached the shoreline to paddle around for a while anyway, a fin glided across the water directly in front of my path. I felt fear creep into my body and stopped walking toward the water. Was the shark a sign I should not get in the water today? Or maybe a warning that I’m over my head trying to learn to surf alone?
Almost immediately, I saw another fin not far away! I had never seen sharks out here, and now they seemed to be everywhere. An old couple approached me on their morning walk, eager to talk to a young person up so early. The woman asked what I was looking at. I told her I had seen sharks. They stood there with me for a few minutes, wanting to see them, until a fin popped up again. The man smiled and told me that those were not sharks; they were dolphins. Better safe than sorry, they agreed. They wished me luck and walked away.
I felt silly and relieved. Of course they were dolphins: the way their bodies curled above the sealine and their traveling in pairs. I had let fear get the best of me, stealing my sensibility and logic with such ease. As the fear melted, the possibility and hope of the morning were quickly restored. The waves had died down even more, so there was no surf to be had this morning. But soon enough, I will come back for more.
I walked back to the house smiling, board once again above my head. I realized that this little morning escapade held a deeper lesson. Where in my life am I turning dolphins into sharks? Where am I forsaking beauty for fabricated threats? We have good health but expect sickness. We have money but fear losing it. We have love but dread rejection. We know society has rebuilt itself after tragedy but are sure this time will be worse. Let’s free ourselves from our own debiltating stories about the future and our own limitations. Embrace fear so that you are free from its crippling grip; do not let it stop you from living fully and freely.
Today, I choose to see the dolphins.
I choose optimism over self-imposed doom.
I choose joy of the moment over fear of the unknown.
